hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
