by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
