sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
