woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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