your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
