Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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