why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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