i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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