I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dear god my vagina.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
