Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
