I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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