youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you had me at cake vodka
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
