That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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