The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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