Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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