Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
