Quick, to the slutcave!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
