My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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