I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
