I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
