I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize