i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
