That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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