ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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