hotel room ftw
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
