Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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