You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
