just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
