found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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