Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize