I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When did angry sex become our thing?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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