is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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