so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
