so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
