he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
