'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
