I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
