i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
