Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
That's intense
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
