She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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