Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
