Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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