he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
