I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
