Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
