that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
