I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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