direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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