In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
