guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
