I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
