either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Randomize
