first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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