Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
