do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
