There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
