their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
