U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
