i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
