12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
