she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize