I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
