no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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