So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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